Let’s welcome to the stage….

You remember that scene in Varsity Blues when the football players go to the strip club and see their teacher Miss Davis dancing? She comes out lookin all business in her suit, with a chalkboard that reads Sex Education and proceeds to take off her clothes to Van Halen’s Hot for Teacher all the while playing up that naughty teacher bit like it’s her job (well technically it is her job). That is stripping; taking your clothes off in an effort to obtain money from strangers.

I don’t know if they exist elsewhere in the world but I’ll be damned if I’ve ever been to an actual strip club. Stripping is not coming on to the stage wearing a bikini, taking off the top portion of the bikini to reveal pasties and subsequently rolling around on the floor for 3-5 minutes. Strippers, I appreciate that you are intoxicated and probably high off of a drug I’ve never even heard of, but you’ve been letting your patrons down. They want themes; they want naughty teachers and nurses. They do not want “Let’s welcome to the stage a dirty crack whore with a snaggle tooth”. That’s not a theme, that’s you. The day after Halloween all the costumes stores sell things for 50-70% off, get your "boyfriend" to buy you that eightball and drop a few bucks on a pair of ears and a tail. Hell, if you want go get fancy pick up a Little Bo Peep costume (if the old whore at the Clermont Lounge in the ATL can pull it off you can too!). Have the DJ blast Cat Scratch Fever, put on your ears and tail, get on stage and strip them off for the people. The people want it; Nay…they demand it.


Shout out to Sweet Little Baby Doll JT and Look Imperial for inspiring this post by their weekly trips to a local gentleman's club.