Monday, October 31, 2011

Boo! It's scary how awesome Halloween is.

I don't know why it surprises people when I say Halloween is my favorite holiday...cause it's bad ace. It only makes me believe they really haven't thought through how just incredibly bad ace Halloween is. So per usual, I'm here to help ya out.

My reasons for loving it so are 8 fold...

1. Candy. It's free, as in people just give it to you.
2. No familial obligations. No dinners, or religious ceremonies for that matter, for your parents to insist on you attending.
3. Dressing like an idiot. It's a giant theme party. Love.
4. Prize money. No other holiday affords the opportunity to win cash prizes. Except for Easter when my Gee-Ga used to put some change in the hidden plastic eggs.
5. Getting ham-a-lam-a-ding-donged with your friends. Encouraged. That's not coffee in the picture's my 3rd shot of the night.

6. Eye-Candy. Granted there is also some eye-broccoli out there, but people typically utilize this holiday to wear as little clothing as possible.
7. Pumpkin everything. Carving, Lattes, Icecreams, pies, cookies, muffins, candies, cakes. He loves pumpkin so much he's making out with this one.

8. Animals in costumes. Redic cute.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Peanut Butter Jelly Time

Confession. I've never eaten Nutella.

Chocolate-Hazelnut, seems like a dream team of peanut butter-jelly proportions but something about the name puts a hitch in my gitty-up. I can't move past it, which is a shame cause it sounds like candy you spread on bread.

Speaking of ill-named spreads I've never eaten, lets talk vegemite. Does anyone actually eat that shit? I'm 90% sure the only way vegemite stays on the market is by an endless domino effect of people saying "This is so disgusting, you have to try it. No, seriously spread some of this semi-edible dark brown shit paste on this piece of bread and I bet you can't help but puke."

Consequently, the domino effect word of mouth marketing campaign is so ingenious I will probably try vegemite long before I ever crack open a jar of nutella.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011


Once during college a number of students began protesting (insert random cause here), which entailed them taking their round the clock stand by camping out in front of the student union. It wasn't long before the protesters started looking more like the homeless than students. Not because the students went unbathed for their cause but because the homeless recognized an opportunity and capitalized on it. Twas brilliant. Turns out, it is not cool to sleep outdoors say on a sidewalk or bench if you're simply homeless. You may catch a couple hours of shut-eye but it won't be long before you're nudged by one of the boys in blue and told to keep moving, but if you're protesting something, you can set up tents and bbq grills, and stay for months.

Pretty sure that's what's going on with Occupy Wall Street.

I like to live my life in general by this rule

Thursday, October 13, 2011

The Bucket List

I don't have a bucket list, mainly because I despise being on a bandwagon. Like bands, hate wagons. Not really, I neutral on the wagon front.

Regardless, a number of my friends do subscribe to lists of the bucket variety to guide them in different endeavors and adventures in life. This blog is about 1 friend and #47 (totally made up that number for effect) on her list. More than that, this blog is about living your dreams, this blog my friends is about tamales.

Grossed out? Yeah, you'll have that.

According to the TenKeyNinja she knocked off numero 47 wed night when her softball team went undefeated. In celebration her team sponsor bought them a bag of chicken tamales from the blue cooler tamale guy.

Perhaps I should give you a little background. Apparently in the windy city of Chicago there are a number of entrepreneurs, who frequent bars around the hours that people will be drunk enough to eat just about anything, selling tamales out of coolers. They are pretty well-known and typically referred to by the color of their cooler e.g. blue cooler tamale guy, or red cooler tamale guy. The joke has been tossed around that the tamales are prepared by these gentlemen's mass their bathtubs. Little too close to the truth me thinks, funny nonetheless. Alrighty, back to scratching 4-7 of the list.

Apparently the TenKeyNinja ate two tamales, found them delicious for something made in a bathtub and as of 1:35pm Eastern Standard time on Thursday has not gotten violently ill. Winning! Seems like the Ten Key Ninja is sold, "Conclusion: Blue cooler tamale guy is legit. As for red cooler tamale guy, we will have to see. But, last night I learned blue and red cooler tamale guy are cousins, so it's quite possible their supply comes from the same bathtub."

Congrats on #47 TenKeyNinja, oh also on #16 (additionally fabricated). Apparently she gets to mark two things off the old Bucket List this week as on Sunday she "Ran in a Marathon". Don't get it twisted, note the word is key.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

DIY Chalkboard Globe

Apparently October is the official birthday month of my friend/family circle. Though I'm not typically one to exaggerate, I may be a little guilty here. Alas 5 birthdays and 1 anniversary, certainly seems like a lot to take on in one single month. Don't worry, I'll power through. The first of the 5 has come and gone and because mom always said homemade gifts were best I started this project early hoping to have it done early...ah the best laid plans. Turns out starting this project two weeks out was a great idea, but lets start from the jump.

I saw the idea for a chalkboard globe on Pinterest, shocking I know, and figured I could easily tackle this project and come out with a quality item for well under the several hundred dollar price tag I found online. Turns out I was wrong. Lets break down the budget....
Chalkboard paint: $2.19 (already owned from previous project) = $0
White paint: @ $2.00 (already owned from previous project) = $0
Globe: $5.00 (purchased by momma at a thrift store, thus free to me) =$0
Oil Rubbed Bronze spray paint: $7.88 (already owned from previous project) = $0
Time: $400.00 (estimated 10 hours at $40 per hour, my time is very valuable) = $400.00
Total cost of the project = $400.00

Lets get to the how to's....
First I painted a line around all the continents as well as any islands that I deemed big enough to count (turns out I did not think Hawaii was big enough to count and thus does not exist in chalkboard globe world...oops!). I didn't worry too much about perfection here, I just wanted to have a line to generally go by after I covered the globe in chalkboard paint.

Next I put down three coats of chalkboard paint, I tended to paint closely, and at times over the white line. The really fantastic camera phone photo below is after the 2nd coat.

Next I retraced the continents with white paint. Obviously the most tedious part of the project. About halfway through this portion I developed claw like qualities to my hand. It was in a word, unpleasant.

Final step was to paint the base and the axis. For this I went with Rustoleum Oil Rubbed Bronze Spray Paint, mainly because I love it and while the standard goldish axis color does give it an older/antiquey feel I thought the ORB gave it a monochromatic and cleaner look....and ultimately looked more like something which would be valued at $400 (winky face emoticon).

Guess there is nothing left to say but....tada!

Monday, October 3, 2011

What does my car say about me?

I was out at a friends house Saturday night for a small get-together. Out of the nine people there I knew one, and from what I could gather most of the people in attendance were in just about the same situation, having been invited by a friend who knew the hostess. Basically, we could have utilized some name tags. About a half hour after the last of the guests arrived, they posed a question. "Who drives the Element?" I volunteer myself up, and the asking couple proceeded to congratulate each other, providing figurative pats on the back coupled with a few "we were right's" and "we called its".

Honestly, I didn't really know what to make of this. I sat there for a few seconds wondering if I should be insulted or happy for being recognized as a consumer who takes safety ratings into consideration when purchasing a car, all the while second guessing my outfit choice. I was perplexed, so I asked "What kind of person drives an Element that you picked me out of the crowd?" Without waiting for an answer I rattled off several possibilities, a habit I have long had, and definitely need to work on. "Do I look like a person who likes to be able to put their bike in their car? Is it because I look outdoorsy? Its my flip flops isn't it?" I was just short of asking if it had anything to do with the fact that I often forgo store bought antiperspirant for the natural antiperspirant found in lime juice. Lucky I quickly remembered I had just met these people and they had no idea I was a bit granola.

I never got an answer, which I'm confident directly correlated to my inability to shut my mouth and just listen for an answer to my original question, and the remaining seven people laughing at what I thought might make me look like an Element driver. It kind of made me wonder if I would have ever been picked out as Gene's owner (the 2003 pink Geo Prism)....God I hope not. Don't get me wrong, I loved that car but what would the owner of Gene look like- I would ascertain they would look, first and foremost, poor. I bet you're wondering what your car says about you.

Just a final thought, but maybe it was the outfit. I was wearing a pair of chinos with hemp flip flops and a shirt with the state of Indiana outlined on it which read "home grown". On the way out I checked out the other cars, one of which was a brand new mustang with racing stripes and I thought to myself, I'm not sure why but I'm happy they thought I was Bruce's owner.