So, like all great ideas this one began with rum...well to be truthful it probably really began with mass amounts of beer since this story really began a while back...but that will all make sense in a bit.
This Friday evening began like any other, well not quite like any other because it didn't begin with a glass of sailor sitting on the beer shelf in my shower---sorry, I digress, back to the point---on this particular Friday I am planted firmly on the couch, glass of sailor next to me and a dvr full of this week's best television. With No Longer Easy E commandeering the television and weeding through this week's episodes of Oprah, I've been forced to find other ways to entertain myself, thus the rum induced great idea (and you thought rum only made me make bad decisions).
So I'm thinking, I have rum, a phone, and a computer. There are a plethora of options here. I can drunk dial, drunk text, drunk gmail chat, drunk facebook chat, see how much rum my computer can absorb before dying, see how much rum my phone can absorb before dying or....I can finally share with the world something that has brought me so much joy.
You see, over the course of the past several years I have shared cocktails, heart to hearts, laughter, beers, life stories, tears, and more cocktails with a friend I hold close to my heart, Intern. I have woken up after many of the nights filled with all the aforementioned things wishing I had it all on video or at least just audio recorded so I could laugh till I cried all over again. I don't have any A/V records of those nights but I do have the next best thing...I have several saved voicemails that I received when my friend and I had a thousand miles between us.
Is it all making sense now?!?...tonight began with rum....but those messages ladies and gents, those began with beer...mass amounts of beer consumed by none other than my favorite future doctor.
What follows is a message from Intern transcribed exactly from my voicemail. It has brought me happiness on days I've found myself a bit down, and made me laugh so much I would swear she was right next to me even though we were states apart. I hope you enjoy just as much as I have :)
"Coach, I have alcohol poisoning. (moan followed by a long pause) I dressed up as Sally O'Malley last night and did a lot of kicking, stretching and kicking and then I puked in the parking lot and then I passed out hugging the toilet when we got home. I woke up the morning in a tank top and my desert rose pants. (long pause) I wore my dance pants (dramatic pause) CAUSE I LIKE-A TO DANCE! I featured the camel toe. I made out with like three guys last night....allegedly. I think I'm still drunk. Alright, good talk." ~Intern