Its not Festivus but its going down anyway...

I would like to take this opportunity to air my grievances.

1. To the person who took my orange highlighter off my desk. You are punishing everyone. I have every intention of taking my candy jar and the remainder of my highlighters and placing them in an undisclosed location. Everyone, or at least those who partake in candy from my jar (that's what she said) will suffer. Please return my highlighter preferably with a note of apology at your earliest convenience. To some an orange highlighter isn't a big deal but in the world of A, orange highlighted items in my calendar indicated non-work related activities, and I would like to be able to schedule that time into my life.

2. To the Black Eyed Peas. will. i. am.----your name is William, hell go by Will if you really want a nickname, but will. i. am. is quite simply ridiculous. apl. de.ap. ---- i do not know what your name actually is, or how you came uo with apl.de.ap but i hope you fall. I have no desire for you to sustain a serious injury but i hope you scrape your knee, and perhaps tear your very likely already fashionably torn jeans. Taboo, I'm not sure which one you are so if you're not the one with flat-ironed bob then you're name is ok. I enjoy the board game Taboo and perhaps you are named after that. Fergie, you are fine. The world is a cruel place but 'hot' people are allowed to get away with more, so you can keep your nickname. In summation, will.i.am. and appley dap, suck it...Boom boom pow bitches.

3. To my baby Tux. I realize you are a morning cat, but i am not a morning person. 6am is not an acceptable time to wake up. Please make an adjustment to your sleep schedule.

4. To the mosquito in my car last night. I'm not sure of your interweb access situation but if you are reading this I hope someone smacks you and you die. I haven't even found all the places you bit me.