Thursday, August 25, 2011

Rock you like a Hurricane

I rolled back into town very late Sunday night from the ATL and having gone the whole weekend detached from any form of news source, as I typically do on vacation, its seemed as if I was bombarded by every news media outlet telling me I was going to parish by way of one Miss Irene at approximately 2am Friday.

So...I've got a week to live, which is bad enough, but now I have to avoid television and radio all together as their crys of wolf are not limited to the local news cast which I try desperately to avoid. I hate hurricanes, call me a midwesterner but I like my natural disasters to come without warning. I can't explain any other reason than I don't like the hype. Speaking of good old fashion, pop-out-of-nowhere disasters...VA, my thoughts are with you.

Five days out, while there was no cause for concern I did take this opportunity to knock the dust off my Hurricane supply kit. Yes, I have one. This is apparently an oddity amongst my friends. I was talking to She's Bossy about what supplies we keep in our kits and both of us revealed something mildly embarrassing. Without electricity its damn hard to cook...but not when you have a chef....Chef Boyardee to be more specific. That's right, my hurricane supply kit is chock-a-bock full of beefaroni and ravioli. A. Its comforting B. That shit is good for like 30 years in a can C. Its yummo. Other items I can't go without (and neither should you)...water, dc, and rum. Let's be honest, you're going to be without power for several days, it's fracking hot in FL, I'm going to want to be drunk.

But by Wed Irene had changed her tune and decided to go make the yanks panic.

Like I said, I guess I just really don't like to wait. I can't stand the uncertainty of it all. Plus the graphics are so ominous. Why don't they make the little hurricane spinney guy a more soothing color like pink instead of red and black.

Or....have you ever seen those photos where people conceal alcohol in their Facebook pictures by using cats?

They could do that....look, it's a Furricane.

Ok, ok, I know Hurricanes are serious. Better? This Furricane means business....

Hmmm...don't want to piss off the PETA people, little helmet to protect the ol kitty melon on impact with shore.

In all seriousness :) really this time. If you haven't gotten your supply kit ready now is the time. This is the worst part of hurricane season and there is no reason not to be prepared with a few cans of Beefaroni and a bottle of your favorite spirits to get you through the worst of it. Take care my east coast friends!


  1. I'd be scared of that furricane if I were you. I'm a spaghettios girl myself, but maybe get a couple more cans of beefaroni, just in case. I don't want you to starve.

  2. i read this thing. Don't act like your not impressed