That's what she said

I have this habit of writing down quotes in the notepad on my phone when things strike me as hilarious, typically when having cocktails. The best part about this is normally it isn't until days later when I go to enter my grocery list into the notepad that I stumble upon them. This past weekend the Intern visited and I found these two little gems hiding away to give me a chuckle and a reminder of good times with a good friend.

What taxi number do I call? - Intern
Don't call Erolls, they're racist.- A
Why?- Intern
I don't know Intern...because their hearts are full of hate. - A
No, I meant how do you know they're racist. - Intern

Help! There are 4 girls here and they're trying to take my clothes off. - Sweet D's Brother
I'm failing to see what the problem is here.....Tell him I'll come help.- SLBDJT

That's what she said, and also what he said

Still on a high after my wonderful weekend, so much so that I thought it deserved a second post. I figured I would steer away from the yucky love stuff this time around and give you a couple quotes from the weekend. This only begins to explain why my abs actually hurt from laughing so much. Enjoy :)

"You're like that guy snoochie from that MTV show." - Patty Cakes poorly referencing The Situation's (from the jersey shore) fascination with his abs to my fascination with my hair.

"Shocking this is a lesbian wedding, there's a f#cking Uhaul parked outside." B-Ru

"You know what I call it, a second goalie"- A describing how Nonnie's beard is something that could keep him from scoring with a girl at the wedding

"I hope someone takes me home today."- Nonnie first thing in the morning after waking up in the nautically themed orphanage type room we stayed in.

" 'The Gray Lining is awesome', Direct quote from everyone at the wedding."- The Gray Lining when I asked her if she could remember any quotes from the wedding weekend.

I didn't shart, my butt reverbed" - Nonnie after he very well may have sharted. Just sayin', he took a shower right after that.

Nature's Original

This morning on the way into work my boss stopped at a local grower’s fruit and vegetable stand and picked up some fresh veggies. When he does this he usually buys a few extras and he typically offers me a few items. I assume he does this because he sees me as the ‘kid’ in the office and in a parenting type of role wants to assure that I am eating at least a few things here and there that have some sort of nutritional value. I am always appreciative of these little acts of caring, and am definitely happy to have some veggies every once in a while that were grown in a garden as opposed to a corporate farm where vegetables are full of all sorts of interesting chemicals. Usually after getting my goods I pack them away in a plastic bag and put them under my desk or toss them in my messenger bag but today for some reason I left them sitting on my desk. One not one, but two, separate occasions someone has said “What do you have going on there? Looks like you’re in for an interesting weekend with your roommate out of town.”

Seriously? That squash is huge!