My world is in shambles. For my entire life I have been identifying with the astrological sign of cancer, now come to find out some astronomer from Minnesota tweeted or some shit that due to our earth being wobbly while its spinning that I've been living a lie and I'm actually a gemini. I'm forecasting some significant changes in my personality....and potentially my pickup lines....time for some research.
Turns out my element is now Air and not Water, or even Honda for that matter. This is looking bad already, I have the word water tattooed on my body, granted it had nothing to do with my astrological sign but thinking now I am now foreseeing a lot more people suffering from tattoo regret and joining those who thought they were getting 'trust' tattooed on them in Japanese and ending up with something like 'taco' instead.
On top of that it turns out I need to change my life's pursuit from reassurance and intimacy to just a little bit of everything. Essentially, I need to be flighty. Not sure how that is going to work out for a planner like me but if the stars say so, I guess it must be. Basically, look out for a mischievous, sporadic, financially irresponsible person with an interest in foreign languages, that apparently other people like to talk about. Far stretch from the compassionate, charming, fiscally responsible person I was yesterday.
I knew nothing good could ever come out of Minnesota.