Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Whirly Like a Champion Today

Admittedly the north wasn't nearly as blistery as I anticipated. It did snow, but by that point in the night I had my beer coat, managed to throw a couple snow balls at the intern without falling, and generally enjoyed it.
The cold, windy weather that followed the next day I generally did not enjoy but thankfully most of the day was spent inside recovering from whirlyball.

I don't think you can go pro in whirlyball, but if you could I would try. My dad always said he wished he would have raised us to be amazing in a really obscure sport like trampoline because inevitably everything will be an Olympic sport one day. If whirlyball ever becomes an Olympic sport, I will start watching the winter Olympics for more than just curling.

This 'sport' is amazing. Picture basketball, mixed with lacrosse, played while a bumper car. Sound stupid? Yes, yes it is.

So the ultimate goal is to get a whiffleball into a hole in a backboard more times than your opponent. Other goals include not pissing off the crackwhore who is 'refereeing' your game, and not losing any digits or appendages. You know how when you go on a fair ride or to the amusement park and they have a multitude of signs and workers that say "keep arms and legs inside". This rule was probably created after someone at insert name of large amusement park here stuck their hand out of whatever 'vehicle' they were riding in and it got ripped off, the one handed man in-turn sued insert name of large amusement park here and is now a kajillionaire. Despite that, in whirlyball you are encouraged, nay, required to stick your limbs out of the bumper car to retrieve the ball. Keep in mind, at no point do you sign a waiver releasing this place from responsibility for your limbs. I don't understand it, but I didn't question it.

Here's some tips in case you get a chance to go play.
1. ALWAYS whirly like a champion.
2. Be prepared for more than a few bruises from your hips jamming into the side of the car and/or your legs jamming into the steering 'stick'
3. Pay more attention to the game than the photo ops.
4. When not playing, be shufflin'...everyday.
5. Leave with a nice buzz and all your limbs.

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