It's Monday morning....

...here's a picture of Flav getting breaded to help you get through it.

DIY Chalkboard Globe

Apparently October is the official birthday month of my friend/family circle. Though I'm not typically one to exaggerate, I may be a little guilty here. Alas 5 birthdays and 1 anniversary, certainly seems like a lot to take on in one single month. Don't worry, I'll power through. The first of the 5 has come and gone and because mom always said homemade gifts were best I started this project early hoping to have it done early...ah the best laid plans. Turns out starting this project two weeks out was a great idea, but lets start from the jump.

I saw the idea for a chalkboard globe on Pinterest, shocking I know, and figured I could easily tackle this project and come out with a quality item for well under the several hundred dollar price tag I found online. Turns out I was wrong. Lets break down the budget....
Chalkboard paint: $2.19 (already owned from previous project) = $0
White paint: @ $2.00 (already owned from previous project) = $0
Globe: $5.00 (purchased by momma at a thrift store, thus free to me) =$0
Oil Rubbed Bronze spray paint: $7.88 (already owned from previous project) = $0
Time: $400.00 (estimated 10 hours at $40 per hour, my time is very valuable) = $400.00
Total cost of the project = $400.00

Lets get to the how to's....
First I painted a line around all the continents as well as any islands that I deemed big enough to count (turns out I did not think Hawaii was big enough to count and thus does not exist in chalkboard globe world...oops!). I didn't worry too much about perfection here, I just wanted to have a line to generally go by after I covered the globe in chalkboard paint.

Next I put down three coats of chalkboard paint, I tended to paint closely, and at times over the white line. The really fantastic camera phone photo below is after the 2nd coat.

Next I retraced the continents with white paint. Obviously the most tedious part of the project. About halfway through this portion I developed claw like qualities to my hand. It was in a word, unpleasant.

Final step was to paint the base and the axis. For this I went with Rustoleum Oil Rubbed Bronze Spray Paint, mainly because I love it and while the standard goldish axis color does give it an older/antiquey feel I thought the ORB gave it a monochromatic and cleaner look....and ultimately looked more like something which would be valued at $400 (winky face emoticon).

Guess there is nothing left to say but....tada!

True True

Fun with Charts and Graphs!

And then there were two...

I'm goin' through the big D and I don't mean Dallas, well actually it has been about three weeks since the divorce was finalized. On the 9th No Longer Easy E and Angelrrific packed up their uhaul and made their way to North Carolina where I believe they had every intention of raising up, taking off their shirts, and twisting them round their head's, spinning them like a helicopter. I also think No Longer Easy E was going to work on becoming a doctor when not taking her shirt off, and subsequently spinning it around her head like a helicopter. None the less, on the 9th I came home from work to find what no longer looked like my home but more like it did when we first moved in and it was just a house....


Change is hard, and anyone who knows me knows I can easily admit to being a bit co-dependent. Though typically used with a negative connotation, I simply just like to be entertained, have someone to comment to about something that just happened on tv or something stupid one of our friends did, and ultimately and don't really enjoy being constantly afforded silence to be with my thoughts.

In that light, I have kept myself pretty busy with a lot of re-organizing, DIYing and wholly making my new, be it quieter, house a home.

My first project was painting a bookcase I acquired from the Kissy Faced Booty Shaker. It was a very light wood colored, simple bookcase which I immediately knew needed to become more 'my style'. I decided on brown for the outside and yellow (to match the couch!) on the inside of the shelves.



In just three short days, and what seemed like 10 coats of paint later I finally finished....that was until I got my coffee table and end tables I ordered in the mail. Though I still loved them upon actual sight, the picture on the interweb of them led me to believe they were a lighter dark brown. So....with this new development I decided I best change back into my paint covered clothes and re-do the brown on the outside of the bookcase or it would have no chance of matching my new furniture. So...three more additional days later I finally, finally finished.


Finishing up the bookcase put me at Thursday of this week. Due to the tv lineup, which includes Rookie Blue (starring none-other than the girl from Stick It), I looked for a project that could be completed while I sat my tiny behind on the couch and watched a girl with too much rock for one hand kick bad guys asses. I settled on a DIY clock project; I haven't really known what time it was when I was in the living room for about three weeks now so that in combination with the tv schedule, it seemed like perfect timing (yes, there was a pun intended).

For something that sounded really simple to make it actually took me about an hour and a half.....but what resulted was perfectly perfect for someone such as myself who only likes one thing more than beer. Pretty simple: clock parts, some pretty paisley fabric, a empty six pack, glue gun, and double sided tape.

DIY 6-pack Clock

What tonight has in store for me I do not know, but I'll find a project, I'm confident of that. What worries me is what I'm going to do with my time when I run out of things to do.

Making some progress....

Cone of Uncertainty

Baby Watch 2010 has officially kicked off. With a due date of April 26th Southwest Floridians, or at least those who will be affected by Hurricane Little A, are closely monitoring any and all activity related to her birth. The National Baby Watch Service has issued the following advisory.

Physiologically impossible, I think not.

New project....Sneeze with my eyes open.

Now Accepting Applications

Back from a blogging hiatus, with a tale of my weekend…or at least what I deem to be the highlight.

Sunday was spent laying in my bed, periodically adjusting my position as to avoid pesky bed sores, until around 4:30pm. Stop looking at me with those judging eyes and that judging mustache and allow me to explain….Sunday is a day of rest, a day where Jesus encourages individuals such as myself to remain in a semi-coma like state for a period of 24 hours. Moreover, it was Easter, a day celebrating Jesus’s resurrection. …thus I felt it necessary to not only rest, but also out of respect to also avoid brushing my hair as Jesus’s locks were surely amiss on this day as well.

I’ll get to my point, this particular day of rest was spent watching an inordinate amount of television, and somewhere around hour 6 I saw an advertisement for Paris Hilton’s British Best Friend. I’ll give you a little glimpse into my head here: A to herself: “Hmm, I want a British best friend”. Herself to A: “If you had one you’d find their accent irresistible and spend your days uncontrollably saying yes to their every request”. A to herself: “You’re right, the accents mesmerize me and I don’t want to end up doing a British person’s laundry”.

I’m not sure if my longing was for a British best friend or just knowing full well I am shortly going to be lacking in the friendship department and for someone as co-dependent as I am this can’t be good. So…I will not be accepting applications for my new British best friend, or even for a new best friend but I will be accepting applications for a new friend… And if you happen to have an accent and your application is approved, please don’t ask me to do your laundry.

Friend Application

1. Name:

2. Nickname:

3. If I choose to make up a nickname for you, as I most certainly will, do you have any names that are strictly forbidden?

4. Gender:

5. Age you are: Age you feel like/tell people you are:

6. Twitter name:

7. Tweet something really nice about @stillsandsyntax , bonus points if it’s about my hair. What did you tweet?

8. What is the latest/earliest that you will accept phone calls/text messages?

9. Fill in the blanks: “Hey, A, I really _____ your last blog! It was absolutely _____!”

10. I'm hungry, will you fix me a hotdog?

11. I can't find my pants. Where do you suggest I look?

12. Road trips: Pro or Con?

13. International vacations: Pro or Con?

14. Describe my weekend hair in 3 words.

15. Complete this sentence: Naps are _________.

16. Essay question: You do or say something that you wish you could take back immediately. It is one of those times where you are so happy a lot of people aren’t around to see you do or say it. But I was there. A week later you read about it on my blog, in detail, with several fabricated embarrassments added. How do you react?

17. If I were to say to you, “Have I told you the story about the time I wore an adidas jacket as pants?” would you reply with (Please note: Chances are high that I have told you this story at least ten times):
A) No, I don’t think you have. Here, give me a moment to make myself comfortable so I can give you my complete and undivided attention.
B) Oh yeah! You have! I love that story! Will you tell it again?
C) Not the f*cking pants story again! Can’t you let one week go by without telling that stupid story?

Once you are completed please post this in the comments section. Each application will be given serious consideration and a final decision will be made in 2-4 weeks. Thank you for your interest.

How come....

Do you ever pay attention to what pops up when you start typing something into a google search? I have said time and again that the public education system has failed people and this is cut and dry proof…

Type in: When should…
You get: i take a pregnancy test

Type in: What does it mean…
You get: when your poop is green

Type in: How do…
You get: you get pregnant

Now go to google and type in: How come

:)